i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come share oat with me in your robe
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
