VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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