they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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