then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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