they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
