My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
