he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
