he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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