apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
