I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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