pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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