Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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