dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my poor anus
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
