I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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