Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
