Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
