I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
