every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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