Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
