hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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