she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
