She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You can't special order awesome
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
