if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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