If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
