stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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