she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
