ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
