This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
