Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
