At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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