she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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