My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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