I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
