dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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