i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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