I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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