are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
