K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just threw up on my dentist
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
