so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry