I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
