I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
