Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
