I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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