I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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