The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
