Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
