dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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