God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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