Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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