how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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