Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
