i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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