Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
