Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
