Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize