Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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