Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
