no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
