i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
