try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
