well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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