I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
