i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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