I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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