i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You have to summon your inner elephant
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
