I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
