Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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