Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
